I recently came across a great quote book. I'd like to think about some of these quotes a little and write through my thinking process. Today's quote struck me because I so often try to force my will upon my children's, and make them do what I want them to do, when I want them to do it!
"Who overcomes by force has overcome but half his foe." --John Milton
When I read this I immediately thought of Thomas because he and I have been clashing lately. I was disturbed to think that perhaps deep down in my heart of hearts I have been treating him like a foe, when really he is one of my beloved children and friends. But I think that when I do try to rule him forcefully, he sees me as more of an enemy than a friend. And he doesn't feel that I really do love him.
So I have been trying to break down that "me against you" feeling with some love, some humor, some time spent with him, and lots of saying "I love you." Even if he still does beat up on Georgie, make huge messes in the kitchen, get really silly and crazy, and say "no!" one hundred times a day, my heart has changed, and that is making all the difference for me. Half the time when he "misbehaves" I think he is bored or just needs some one-on-one attention from me. The poor kid hardly ever gets me entirely to himself! So I have been working on it and trying to remember that even if I do force him to behave, in the end, I will lose out on a wonderful chance at a great relationship.
thanks for sharing rach - this is a great quote and thoughts from you adding to our recent conversation. Kent is now learning the "sad consequence" phrase and to help with getting the word "no" out HIS vocab I am helping him reframe by saying "Kent say - OK mom" in a happy tone....it's mostly working.... Thank you for advice and example! You are an exceptional mother! Love ya!
ReplyDeletePerfect example of why I need to use your blog entries, WW entries, emails and some serious interview time this summer to work on that case study of you as an evaluating mother!
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